Remember this one.
Fields of Poppies (a.k.a. Good Fortune by Bonnie K. Hunter) was done in May and ...
... fell apart in July. I sew it up real quick because I wanted it done before a certain date and ... it was a mess. It did manage to look good on the photos but in real life it wasn't that good looking.
It stalled me and I couldn't get my mojo going because I was disappointed in myself.
Then, in June, we had a wedding.
DH's nephew got married ... in the rain. We were all crowded inside, it was muggy, humid, stuffy ... a miserable evening. I felt sad for them. All the planning, preparations, attention to details, spending, hoping, wishing and it rains! But them, they were still happy to be together and I think a little oblivious of the weather.
We also had an uncle who decided to have the upper hand on cancer and went for an assisted death. It was very odd to know when he will pass away before it occurred. Counting the days, then the hours before his suffering ends. I just couldn't deal with this and it messed up my mind. On his funeral day, I couldn't cry. I loved him and I understand and respect his choice, it's just that I ... can't find the words to express this new feeling. On his funeral day, it was my birthday and I couldn't smile when people gave me their good wishes for a long and beautiful life. It was so at odds with what I was going through inside.
It took a long time before my life resume its "normal" rhythm. I realize that there are some things you can't change and need to accept no matter how much you don't want to. There are other things that you can change or have to change no matter how much you don't feel like it. I knew that I couldn't accept Good Fortune the way it was so I had to change it.
So I sat at my favorite spot, by my lonesome and ripped. Listening to the birds, talking to my uncle and my dad ...
it all came falling apart until ...
... it was all done and stacked.
All the block B (blue/green block) need to be redone.
Slowly, as I get back up, Fields of Poppies will mend too.