Sunday 11 August 2019

Falling Apart

Remember this one.


Fields of Poppies (a.k.a. Good Fortune by Bonnie K. Hunter) was done in May and ... 




... fell apart in July. I sew it up real quick because I wanted it done before a certain date and ... it was a mess. It did manage to look good on the photos but in real life it wasn't that good looking.

It stalled me and I couldn't get my mojo going because I was disappointed in myself.

Then, in June, we had a wedding.
DH's nephew got married ... in the rain. We were all crowded inside, it was muggy, humid, stuffy ... a miserable evening. I felt sad for them. All the planning, preparations, attention to details, spending, hoping, wishing and it rains! But them, they were still happy to be together and I think a little oblivious of the weather.

We also had an uncle who decided to have the upper hand on cancer and went for an assisted death. It was very odd to know when he will pass away before it occurred. Counting the days, then the hours before his suffering ends. I just couldn't deal with this and it messed up my mind. On his funeral day, I couldn't cry. I loved him and I understand and respect his choice, it's just that I ... can't find the words to express this new feeling. On his funeral day, it was my birthday and I couldn't smile when people gave me their good wishes for a long and beautiful life. It was so at odds with what I was going through inside.

It took a long time before my life resume its "normal" rhythm. I realize that there are some things you can't change and need to accept no matter how much you don't want to. There are other things that you can change or have to change no matter how much you don't feel like it. I knew that I couldn't accept Good Fortune the way it was so I had to change it.

So I sat at my favorite spot, by my lonesome and ripped. Listening to the birds, talking to my uncle and my dad ...

it all came falling apart until ...



... it was all done and stacked.     

All the block B (blue/green block) need to be redone. 

Slowly, as I get back up, Fields of Poppies will mend too. 

;^)









8 comments:

Libby in TN said...

It looked so pretty. What was wrong with the blue/green blocks?

Barbara Sindlinger said...

Sorry for your loss. It looked like you needed the therapy of tearing the blocks apart and thinking about your uncle. I hope it comes together nicely and easily for you.

julieQ said...

I am so sorry you had to go through that. I love your good fortune quilt! I

Angie in SoCal said...

For the life of me, I can't spot what was wrong with b blocks. So sad about your uncle. Blessings,

Lin said...

So sorry to read about your Uncle - death (as I found out recently) is hard to cope with and although your Uncle chose to end his suffering it makes it no less difficult for those left behind. Such a shame about the wedding. We had a wet day here yesterday and we know of several events that will have been affected and I am sure weddings too. Weddings are big business here! Lots of people come out from UK and from around the world as it is cheaper! Not to mention 'romantic'! Well, I cant see what you don't like about those green blocks either but wish you luck with remaking them and look forward to seeing the results soon. xx

Podunk Pretties said...

I can relate to life interfering with our best laid plains. Looking forward to seeing what you do with this quilt, even though I thought it looked amazing. You obviously had a vision of what you wanted. Not everyone would take the time to make that vision a reality. Anxiously awaiting!

Lilac Joan said...

Several years ago I took a workshop from Bonnie Hunter. Wanting to beat everybody and finish by quilt first. After it was done, it was so bad I didn't wanted the longarmer to see it. I did what you did I took it apart. Still the pieces are in the box, but someday! By the way I wasn't the first to finish!

gayle said...

Oh, all the hugs for you! I recognize that fight to get normal back - I lost my dad in early June and I'm still having a hard time getting my life going again. Sending you all the good thoughts I can muster.
I'm glad you took apart the quilt that wasn't making you happy. Follow your heart!